Ive joined the gym. Mainly because I want to get rid of the 24lbs of postpartum baby weight that needs to fuck off and die.
Another reason is because according to my Physio therapist, I have scolosis, a flat back and I’m hyper mobile, so having a baby made my body break. THANKS GUYS. Unless I want to become one of those old folks that look snapped in half, balancing on two walking sticks by the time I’m 60, I have to go to the gym, so now and again I’ll be posting what I’ve been doing.
I’m no longer allowed to do any running or yoga, ironically, the only two things I just about enjoy doing, and have been put on strict orders of spinning twice a week, Pilates once and at least an hour on a cross trainer or exercise bike on the days I don't have classes.
The whole thing is making me lose the plot. Mainly, because the spin class is at 9.30 in the morning and I don’t get up until at least 12 on an average day, and secondly, as I found out at my first spin class yesterday, I am absolutely shit at it. Its in a dark room, accompanied by hardcore dance music and strobe lights. There’s about 30 bikes, that with no help, you end up getting the seat/peddle/resistance settings wrong, and if its your first go at it, don’t make the mistake I made of sitting in the middle of the class, go to the back, hide, wear camo.. anything so that the instructor doesn’t see you, because 10 minutes into the whole thing you have to stand up and cycle, and if like me you are shit at fitness, you’ll end up not being able to stand up because your legs are about to give way and you to sit down and do the whole thing that way, but even that makes your lady garden feel like its been battered by a metal pole. Luckily, (not really) I didn’t just have the instructor shouting at me making me feel shit and worthless, I had 3 older women behind me trying to egg me on. Absolute hell.
At the end of the 45 minutes I was actually nervous to get off the bloody thing for fear of falling off or collapsing, yet I made it down to the floor and bolted out of that gym faster than a horse should at the words, ‘steeple chase at the grand national.’
Today, the day after, it’s safe to say that walking is an issue and like child birth, i’ve erased the horrible experience from my mind and I’m ready to get ‘back into the saddle’ on Sunday.